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This is a question I receive so often and many clients want to talk about it in our phone sessions. The topic is Bi Curious or BiSexuality. We live in a society that tries so hard to rid itself of double standards, yet when it comes to bisexuality we promote two women, and hide two men. We buy and rent movies to watch two women climb in bed together, yet are afraid to even mention two men. Most married men ask, beg and plead with their wives to just try being with another women. It is usually a life long fantasy. At some point, most married women agree to this request and find it is the best sex they have ever experienced. Why, because they are looking for intimacy, pleasure, gentle touch and most of all, to be held and nurtured. The men on the other hand, usually are after the orgasm, the explosion, the relief it brings. Most men also love the feeling of being penetrated. I have clients asking me to use a strap on with them and they love the feeling of being penetrated, the feeling of having an orgasm while they are penetrated. Men are after the rush, the feeling of conquering, the feeling of accomplishment. The great feeling you get just after you release all that pressure in your body. No women can ever use a strap on and replace the feelings another man could give you, yet just the thought will turn many men off. I have often been at a swing club, a guy cums in my mouth, before I can swallow his gift to me, he grabs my lips and using his tongue, grabs all of his cum and swallows it. Yet, when I mention to them to try giving oral sex to another guy, watch out, they are not gay or hey, i don't touch men. I just don't get it. So I asked my readers of Ask A Swinger to share with me their thoughts. I asked why is it acceptable to ask your wife to try being with another women, but if your wife asked you to try being with another man, would you agree? I have posted a few of the responses, but I want to hear what you have to say. Please e mail me your thoughts, stories or experiences. I will not use real names and no e mail addresses will be used. Thank you, Hello Julie,
(Name Withheld by Julie) Dear Julie, I was reading today's topic on Bi Curious. It was great. I would like to share some thoughts with you. One person put A REAL MAN under his name. To me A real man is honest, very open minded,non jealous,does not judge other people or there sexuality,is very loving and supportive of his partners sexual wants,needs,and fantasies. A real man also shows respect and support he does not take his partner for granted. There is several very common fantasies that a lot of women have such as hubby taking out the trash or hubby doing the dishes. How sad is that? A real man pitches in and helps even if he works long hard hours. He knows where there is a will there is a way But the most important thing that makes someone a real man is he is never hurtful. Telling someone your disappointed in them could be hurtful especially when there doing such a great job sharing all this hot information with all of us. A real man would be thankful and appreciate all the hard work. So Julie what do you think? Oh one last thing someone asked if you are promoting bisexuality It seems to me your promoting your business but your doing it with an open and creative mind. I am really glad your doing your web site and your coaching so thanks for all your time and work it is truly appreciated! Unsigned, Dear Julie, Dear Kevin, Thanks for the great letter. I wish more men would be open and honest with themselves instead of only thinking it is OK for two women. I have found several clients that waited till they were 40 or 50 to try being with another man only to wish they had tried it much sooner. Couples that are both bi, usually have the most fun at parties that I attend. Dear Julie, What a timely topic. I had begged my wife to sleep with a neighbors wife. We get together often and last saturday night, they were over and we had a bottle of wine and the sexual energy was high. The women started to tease and we went wild. They started to kiss and we were like kids in a candy store. They stopped short of doing anything. I was not sure why. That night in bed, I asked my wife why she did not go any further and she said she was not sure how it would feel. I tried to reassure her it would be the best experience of her life and the hottest sex she ever had. She said she would think about it. The next day over breakfast she said that if it is such a good idea, she would be willing to try it as long as I would be willing to try having sex with the other husband. I was shocked, at first I threw a fit, men don't do those things and left for the hardware store. On my drive in it hit me, i want her to try the unknown, but I am not willing to. Is it just because the media promotes and glamorizes two women and not two men? I am just not sure, but this is a hot topic around my house. Any suggestions? Doug Dear Doug, I think you have a wonderful sensible wife. She has a good point. The only thing I can ad is, almost 100% of the male clients I work with have told me that having oral or anal sex with another man is the best experience they have ever tried and the feelings can't be described. Dear Julie, I love your Ask A Swinger column. You tell it like it is. I went through something similar with my wife. We talked for years about going to a swing party or club. We fantasized about it, role played and had great sex just thinking about being with another couple. The time came, we met a couple that we felt sure were into the lifestyle. They invited us over one night for dinner and a chance to get to know them in their new hot tub. I told my wife that was another clue that they were in the lifestyle. We talked about what if the wife was bi since we read that 75 to 80% of women in the lifestyle are bi. She hesitated and said, whatever happens, happens and she would be fine with that. She is a very understanding women and would do anything to make me happy. I was so excited about going to our friends home on saturday night that I could not sleep on friday night. I gave my wife a pep talk about not offending our new friends and that she agreed to go along with whatever happens. She said she would be fine. We arrived at our friends home, had a wonderful dinner, a few drinks and then off to the hot tub. In the tub the other couple were feeling my wife under the water and like a good sport, she laughed and smiled and played along like an old pro. We must have sat in the tub a lot longer than we realized because when we went to get out, we were limp. Between the wine and hot water, we felt great. I was beginning to think the evening was over and we were headed home with no action. I was pretty horny looking at the other naked wife drying off my wife. They invited us downstairs to see their home theater and play room. It was not like any playroom I have ever seen. It was a dark room with a big screen TV along with several sofas and futons. In the corner was several pieces of equipment that looked like a dungeon. The host asked if we ever watched a porn movie, we laughed and said several, they asked if we would like to stay and watch a movie. We agreed and soon the movie started, the only difference is they were in the home made movie. The lights were dim, the mood was hot and as I expected soon the other couple was all over my wife. Then both ladies were all over me. It was just like I imagined. The fun continued, the lights dimmed and soon the other wife was in a 69 position with my wife. I was just relaxing and watching the two ladies when I felt something, I looked down and the other husband was giving me a blow job. It was unexpected and I must say, it left me with mixed emotions. So I remembered back to the lecture I told my wife about going along with the flow, so I just leaned back and closed my eyes. Soon I was pumping loads of hot cum down this guys throat. I did not want to show the pleasure I was receiving. The evening did not stop, until it happened. My wife was laying on her back, the other wife was in a doggie style position pleasuring my wife. I crawled up behind this lovely lady and entered her doggie style. It was heavenly, I have not had sex with another women since getting married 25 years ago. It felt so good, when yes, you can imagine, her husband inserted and penetrated me from the rear. In any other situation, I might have screamed, but since I was inside his wife, I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the feelings. Julie, I don't like to admit it, but it was the best orgasm I have ever experienced. Shortly after that we gathered out close and went home. It was the best night of my life and my wife is very respectful by allowing me to set the boundaries as to what part of the evening we discuss in bed. John and Sandy Dear John and Sandy, To me, that is what swinging is all about, sharing, experiencing and then going home together. See the unknown is not always bad. Dear Coach Julie, I love your interaction with your readers. I have never written to a columnist and received a personalized reply like I received from you. My experience was not quite like most couples. I am happily married, if i had an experience with another lady, my wife would be hurt and not able to handle it. One day I asked her about bisexuality and she said she had an affair in college with a professor who was married. That was her first and only time being with a women and it was wonderful, but not like cheating. She felt that it was just great intimacy. That sent my mind wondering. I travel a lot on business, usually with a few other coworkers, so i have to be careful what I do so it does spread around the office. Recently I was traveling to Denver, I was really frustrated and horny. After our meetings, I went back to the hotel, I started thinking about calling an escort, then I got out the yellow pages and started looking for strip clubs when I came across adult bookstores. There was one in walking distance to my hotel. I have been to many adult bookstores, purchased a magazine or lube and took matters in my own hand. This time I was not sure what I wanted, but I was horny and needed some release. I decided to change clothes and head out for a four block walk to the bookstore. When I arrived I was somewhat concerned, the building was run down and old. It had video booths on one side and a book store on the other. I figured I had just walked four blocks and I was going in, I was not walking this for to turn around and go back. I walked through the door and my worse fears were validated. My coworker Steve was there in the store, looking at magazines. I froze, then our eyes locked, I was not sure who was more surprised, since Steve is such a perfect family man always talking about morals and values. It was too late to act like we did not see each other, so I walked up and started talking like we were in the grocery store. At first it was quite awkward, but them it felt more comfortable. Soon we were laughing. I asked Steve if he wanted to walk back with me since it was 4 blocks and it was getting dark. He agreed and out the door we went. Neither of us bought anything except just as we were leaving, I noticed Steve go up to the counter and buy a bottle of lubricant. I thought I was dreaming, it was called, Anal Lube. We walked back to the hotel, it was only 10 pm and we did not have a morning meeting, so Steve asked if I wanted to come to his room and watch some TV or talk. We picked up a drink at the bar and off we went. I had no thoughts at all, just figured it was two guys spending time together or maybe it would be good to talk about the book store so we can get it out in the open. I have never been with a man, I never gave it one thought. All I know is, my wife did not feel two ladies is not considered cheating and I would never cheat on my wife. When we arrived in Steve's room, he went into the bathroom and came out in boxer shorts and no t shirt. I still did not give it any thought. As we were enjoying our drinks and companionship, Steve asked me if I got horny when I traveled, I started to tell him how crazy it makes me. He told me how he can't be away from his wife for more than a week or he goes nuts. Just then he asked how I find relief. I told him I often do myself to feel better. He asked if that was satisfying. I told him no, but I would never cheat on my wife, so it would have to do. Julie, just then he reached down, unzipped my pants and without a word started to give me the best oral sex I have ever had. Soon I was pumping his face like a hot pussy. When i finished, he licked me clean. I thought I hope he does not expect this in return because there is no way I am going to do this. Guess what, when he finished he started to give me an erotic massage, within minutes, I don't know what came over me, I pulled his shorts down and started to return the favor. It was really wonderful, just then, he shot a huge load in the back of my throat. What could I do, if I closed my mouth, it would be all over my face, so i relaxed and just swallowed. It was a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. I thought the evening was over, boy was I wrong. We rested, talked and watched some TV. I was so tired, I could not move. I fell asleep, just then I felt something funny and opened my eyes, Steve was fingering my ass hole with the lube he bought. I still did not give it much thought, I just figured he wanted to wake me up so I could go back to my room. As I lifted from the bed, without any warning, Steve, penetrated my ass with his huge cock. I thought I would die, but guess what, if felt great. I guess since he had just cum an hour before, he rode and rode, I felt my ass hole opening up and becoming numb. He started to breath heavy and know what was next, so I figured he was getting ready to pull out, instead he pushed one last time and went as deep as he could and shot a really hot load in me. I could feel it dripping down inside of me. I did not know what to say, I had feelings of pleasure fighting feelings of guilt. But it was wonderful. I was so sore from the long ride, that when I got home, I went to sleep instead of mauling my wife. She asked how my trip was and I told her it was wonderful but I was really tired. Things are fine at work, in fact, Steve, asked our boss if he could join me for my 10 day sales seminar next month. Frank Dear Frank, Now that is a story. I am sure it felt great. I love anal sex, but be careful having unprotected anal sex. Always play safe. Dear Julie, I am a happily married man who is bi curious. I have never told my wife. I am not interested in the intimacy, I just want to try pleasing another man and truthfully, I have never told anyone this, I want to feel a man's cock inside of me. I have always been interested in receiving anal sex. Any suggestions on where to meet a guy like this? I also live in the Atlanta area. Paul Dear Paul, There is a few social clubs for gay and bi men in the Atlanta area, like Flex off Cheshire Bridge rd. I also know of a great social club that meets once a month here in Atlanta, so I will e mail you the link privately. Please let me know if it is everything you dream it will be. Dear Goddess Julie, Yes, to me you are a goddess. There is something about you that makes you different. You are not like most escorts, you are smart, pretty, educated and well put together. I have had the pleasure of scheduling several phone sessions with you. For those men who want to have someone to talk to about their life, their dreams and their fantasies, this is the lady to call. Ok, enough for the recommendation, here is my situation, I have this fantasy that I can't get out of my head. I want to be with a group of men who are all masturbating at the same time. Have you ever heard of such a party? Ron Dear Ron, Thanks for the commercial and endorsement. I feel I am different than most escorts or phone sex operators. I am real, I am genuine and I am mature. I don't play those mind games with my clients. I have so many clients who have hired very young escorts, mostly 18 to 21 year olds who are very thin and lack the life experiences. Sure their bodies are thin, their skin like a child, but after the fun is over, it is over. If you are 35 to 65, can you imagine carrying on a meaningful conversation with these ladies? Can you imagine talking about your relationship of 25 years with an 18 year old? Don't get me wrong, I love to have sex with young girls, I love their breasts, but how much do we really have in common to talk about. I have met so many wonderful older gentlemen with graying hair, I find them very attractive, can you really imagine these 18 year old escorts finding 50 and 60 year old men attractive? Maybe, but I would question if they are only there for the money. Ok, enough about finding the right escort. Ron, to answer your question, often a group of gay and bisexual men will get together for a party, they call these parties, circle jerks. Just like the name, a group of men get together in a circle and jerk off shooting their cum in the center of the circle. I have also seen parties where one guy lays in the circle and everyone shoots off at the guy in the middle. Either way, it is pretty erotic to see 20 hard cocks shooting off at the same time. If you need to find these parties, contact me and I will give you the information. Dear Julie, Yes, I am Bi Curious. My wife is bi and we go to several swing clubs and I watch her having so much fun, but there seems to be a stigma at the clubs we go to about bisexuality with two guys. Is this the norm or is our town just behind in the lifestyle. Tyrone Dear Tyrone, This is one more reason I picked this topic for my column. Most swing clubs promote, even encourage bisexual women activities, yet they do not encourage two men. I do think this is changing. I know that Miami Velvet has a Bi night to allow everyone to explore their fantasies. Men and women are encouraged and welcome. I also know of a few other large clubs in the northeast that have bi nights and encourage single bi males to party. The funniest thing about clubs, according to my 20 years in the lifestyle, most men in the lifestyle are at least bi curious if not bi sexual. I think you will see more and more clubs promoting bi nights. Julie, I am not bi anything, I only love women and plan to stay that way. Are you promoting bisexuality in men? I am disappointed in you!!! Keith Dear Keith, Give me a break, I am all about freedom of speech. I posted your comments, just like I posted others. I made it very clear, I pick a topic and let everyone write in and tell me what they think. You won't see these topics covered in traditional papers or magazines. Personally, I would suggest you try it and then if you don't enjoy it, never try it again, but don't put it down if you have never tried it. I also give that advice to women. Just like trying a new food, try it, if you don't enjoy it, don't order it again, if you find it pleasurable, by all means, order it again. Keith, just for the record, I have had some great lovers in my time and most of the memorable ones were bi. Please e mail me your story or comments.
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